Redditor aitamumuninvited is a 31-year-old man whose mother did not wholly embrace her future daughter-in-law because of something she did. Edit: fixed a typo saying tall instead of talk. They divorced five months after getting married when she found him cheating. They are bullies. I can't believe he is still there. 283 AITA for uninviting my GF to a family dinner because she wouldn't dress modestly? TPing a house is a prank. What a bunch of toxic people. The dad is a master manipulator, and the siblings likely haven't realized they're being abused yet. OP cut all contract with these AHs now. For real. Look: I know its hard to discover that the way you grew up isnt actually normal or okay, but the way you grew up is not actually normal or okay. And clearly the respect of these toxic males is worthless, and its much more important for OP and fianc to have self respect. Are you at peace with the no contact and okay with never seeing your dad again? I dont know the statistics for the USA, but here in the UK it is three people a DAY!! I hope not. Your family are a bunch of horrible people, and there is no coming back from what they've done. His lips are turning purple! I grew up in a sorta fucked up family. Not everyone here is a native English speaker, so it's a bit unfair to expect everyone to be able to infer tone from a block of text, Yea I got it but tbf it sounds like the OPs family think this was unironically so on posts like these I do think it's more needed than not. These are excellent words to throw back in their faces. They're the ones that have broken the trust. Stealing someone's effing inhaler out in the wilderness is trying to kill that person. You need to go NC. This thread has been locked by the moderators of r/AmItheAsshole, Comments are in random ordering and vote scores are hidden. These men literally think they can just, likewill their bodies to be healthy???? Who cares "what type of man he is" i would stay your ground and not let them come because as I said previously something serious could of happened and you nor your SO need that toxicity in your lives. O no someone went to post secondary education. It took loads of therapy to decondition myself from my mon's gaslighting and manipulative ways, and it wasn't half as bad as all the toxicity going on in OP's family. I hope he realizes that unless you stand up for him and put your dumb ass family in their place - he should move on. I mean, they sound basically awful (and essentially bullies) anyway, but that pitches them from 'boorish' to 'sociopathic'. NTA. Any children you have could possibly be in danger from them, too. That could have been fatal. Your entire family is toxic and dangerous. "We just wanted to see if he would be able to save himself with no brakes, because if he can't he clearly isn't a manly man like us". They're just bullying your fiance because they don't like him I assume. I went to a wedding where the lady getting married had her birth mom, first stepmom, and second stepmom. OP mentioned demanding they stop. And agreed, fiancee must really love OP to put up with this for so long. Their pranks have been unacceptable - in some cases criminal and in the case of the inhaler, something that could have landed them a manslaughter charge in the worst case scenario. No, they crossed into criminal behavior with the slashing of the tires. Cut them all out. Those would be considered crimes if the police were called. Cancer!" "And he knew you had cancer." "If that was me, the second I left my brother's house, he would've been dead to me. People with asthma can die from their condition. Anyone who isn't willing to own up like an adult can make other plans. Plus, as a partner (soon to be wife), you need to support and protect your partner from family if they're doing things like this to them. They will do something worse to pay you back on your wedding day. Leaving the inhaler is potentially life threatening!!!! They could have killed him. That was over ten years ago and we all still laugh about it. I, on the other hand got to live with my stepdad more since I'm the youngest and we established a somewhat stable relationship. You need to stick up for your husband and cut contact with these abusive freaks. Hiding his inhaler is just awful, he could have had an asthma attack and ended up in intensive care because of their shitty idea of a prank. They are nothing but bullies. Id cut this family off completely. What did they expect to accomplish? Today the victim is your fiance. They're trying to scare him away, not test him. Lived well past those issues. Are they going to test the boys? Even if its treatable? I loved her at first but quickly I realized she wasnt everything I had thought. His worth js as a humannot reliant on their approval or testing. For more information, please see our They shouldve had charges pressed on them for slashing his tires. This should be the top comment. What if you two have a little boy with asthma? They probably feel less than because he's a college boy (that's the thing they have pointed out) so they are all proving that they are actually real men while he isn't. Youre right - they were hazing him. My dad told me everything about their divorce and how awful my mom was. Youre a bad girlfriend. I agree!! NTA. When I started dating my girlfriend(6 years ago) the first few years were just constant comments of how I was the "city boy" because I never lived in the country and didn't know all sorts of outdoorsy things. To be honest car repair shop still works. OP is the poster child for NTA. Were your father and uncle also tested ? Yup, aged neanderthal skeletons that had birth defects or long healed bad wounds that would have left them disabled. Edited to add although YTA for letting it carry on I actually mean ESH. A's far as the wedding issue. Especially if they dont believe his asthma and hid his inhaler till it was too late?? Exactly! Your fianc needs to know you have his back when it comes to people who are so awful to him for no real reason. At a guess, because lil Timmy isn't one of "them". THIS! I think the best thing you could do for yourself is to go no-contact with your father. In the eyes of the law, if your fianc had died, they could be charged with manslaughter or even murder. NTA NTA but you wont be if you dont take drastic measures to ensure this bullying stops. Idiots. It was infuriating and that was just a case of bad luck. Unfortunately when you live with something for so long, it becomes your normal. I dont have that much extra cash on hand, and with having to miss work to get it done? Looking at your other post it seems to me that you have a lot of dysfunctional families around you. NTA but considering the shit theyve put him through even before the inhaler prank, Im surprised it took you this long to put your foot down. Thats it. NTA. If anyone treated my husband like that I'd never speak to them again. Why has your fianc not filed a police report on these people? Do not let mum, brother and friends tell you otherwise. They have already stated they do not respect your life partner. OP, this already is a wedge. He deserves so much better honestly. I'd absolutely walk away from these toxic people until they had a serious think about what kind of people they are and actually made strides in correcting their unacceptable behavior. Edited to say I am a woman who has asthma as well. Hiding his inhaler on a days camping trip? Ask them how they would like mug shots and restraining orders and if THOSE, decorating your guest sign in table, would increase their respect for you as a couple. This goes way beyond the realm of a prank. You need to make your choice now, its your family - who will probably run off any other man you bring home unless they're as messed up as your family - or your fiance. What about them proving to you that they are decent people who love and care about you? Yea those are pranks. The fact that Tim tolerated their bullying for so long without dumping you or calling the cops was awful. I feel like the AH because I overreacted and probably couldve compromised for a day. They literally could have killed him. NTA and you made the right decision sticking up for your fianc as he is obviously madly in love with you to put up with your families bullshit. What they did was just so cruel. by AITApod (Am I The A**hole Podcast) AITApod (Am I The A**hole Podcast) By Danny Vega & Sara Levine Danny Vega, TikTok cringelord, and Sara Levine, meme queen master's student, read listener submissions & pilfer from the similarly-named subreddit. Slashing tires costs money and time and possibly work. I would not have put up with them especially when they slashed my tires. These are all bullies who've been allowed to reign free. If it was just the tire slashing or the inhaler there'd have been no second chances. NTA - Your family sound like psychopaths. Like if NTA was like the golden buzzer in Got Talent, OP would still be NTA. They will neither sit down nor shut up. NTA. Your family is the king of gaslighting. If my partners familt slashed my tirrs as a "test" I would have RUN from you and your toxic family! It's helped me to learn how many families with addicts change to fit the addiction. Your family is bullying him. Calling him the soft college kid makes it seem like its more about their feelings of inferiority instead of making your fianc prove himself. Likegrown ass adults? The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving. NTA and personally I'd go no contact. Hiding his medication as a prank is the lowest of the low. NTA. For more information, please see our Sounds like a bunch of dumb hicks bullying a city boy. I told him I need to know if he is coming to walk me down the aisle and have our dance and he said he doesnt know and we will see. I can't imagine an inhaler being too much different, depending on the severity of the asthma. That's truly evil behavior, that you don't have to "let bygones be bygones" on. My dad (50 M) and I (24 F) have had a complicated relationship. I know, right? They all sound like the very worst the patriarchy has to offer and the fact that you are still in regular contact with them and subject the man you love to their dumb bullying is worrisome, to say the least. They really think that's normal? You don't have to tell me about how awful some doctors can be. These are not pranks. All of them can go fuck themselves. The way he calls you failure is super not okay You do what is right for you and go ahead and uninivite him. How manly would they look in prison. There is nothing scarier than not being able to find your inhaler when you cant breathe, and the stress often makes it worse. Risking death because your family is shit just isnt worth it in the long run. OP has screamed at them to stop, and they only escalated the severity of their hazing. NTA and I can see this being a dealbreaker for Tim unless you go low to no contact. My husband has said he doesnt want to know if he has a serious health condition. And their results will be used to judge them for the rest of their lives. That's what I was thinking & why I suggested elopement. So you definitely made the right decision. I had a fever of 102 by the time he got the boot. This post made me so mad. NTA, and im sorry, also FUCK YOUR DAD, as your post says " he was abusive in everyway, but a master manipulater.". See you after the wedding, assholes. NTA but uninviting them to the wedding is the bare minimum response. NTA. this. She's not bordering on it, she's well over the border. Id cut off fam unless I wanted to lose my fianc. In fact, Tim has every right to press charges against these guys and should do so. Agreed. My/my child's/my friend's/a complete stranger's inhaler is empty/missing! No fun indeed. And I dont think he ever would have earned their respect - they were just entertaining themselves at his expense. To the siblings, though, it looks like dad hasn't done anything wrong. Stand your ground, these assholes need to learn their actions have consequences. Create a new healthy family. NTA. Also tell the four muppets that it's 2022 and it is not normal to bully the man your daughter/sister/niece/cousin wants to marry. How can four people be so fucked in the head to think it is acceptable to hide much-needed medication from someone?! Is this the future you want? A set of new tires will easily run you $600-$800, that is a very expensive prank and I absolutely would have taken them to small claims court over it. Cant have no man treating his daughter like an equal person and human being /s . Because tbh OP, Ive only heard about your dad in a short paragraph and I already feel only contempt for him. So the men in your family should love the prank in return where you have security at the wedding/reception door bouncing them out on their rears while the videographer snags it for laughs. He has had some health complications straight after and I feel like they blame me for this as well. You should have charged them for that and shutting this shit before the incident. Your family is not doing pranks they are awful bullys and terrorizing him. Managing your family is your job, and you were somehow ok with the constant insults, belittling questions, slashing of tires, etc. I feel good because after years I have finally set a boundary for myself but I also feel sad because I always imagined my dad being there on my special day. Taking away someone inhaler is life threatening. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. Your family is bullying him and you just let them. Taking someone's enhaler can kill them. It's their property". He's been through enough hazing and taken it in stride for YOUR sake. Imagine if you guys decided to have kids and they acted this way around them too? Demands were never gonna do shit, actions were. Hes likely already seriously considered if youre worth the hassle. These are not pranks. Ask yourself if you would let a stranger treat you this way. This is THE hill to die on. This is not what men do its what arrogant and immature assholes do. Imagine what more they will do now just for revenge. Or actually the hill they tried to kill him on. Get away from your family, theyre even bigger assholes. Not to mention, destroying someone else's property is not a prank, it's criminal behavior. Press J to jump to the feed. She cussed me out for prioritizing my hateful and cold hearted brothers over my stepdad and showing him that I'm not worthy of his grace which was really really hurtful for me to hear. Its your responsibility to make sure your family members are abusing your partner under the disguise of tests and pranks. You dont need any of them in your life. OP's tolerance of her family's antics until the inhaler "challenge" puts her damn near in enabler territory. Before or after he passed out/died? NTA. He might not be at that point yet, but he is getting VERY close. NTA all the way. 3 months from diagnosis to dead. Some of this is actually really dangerous. I say they elope because id bet money they try to come no matter what and ruin her wedding, Lol alright, they can man up and get their ass beat by security who has been instructed to keep out the trash. Dude yta for allowing this to go on as long as it has. NTA, and just go NC with the whole lot - even your mom, because she clearly supports this shit. they took away an asthmatics inhaler which could potentially lead to death, and youre asking if youre the AH for uninviting them to your wedding? This mans gonna die. They are criminals acts and dangerous abuse. ETA except Tim. Yes! I hope her step dad has the good sense to withdraw his financial support from the wedding. If you and Tim chance to have a son, dont let him anywhere near your male relatives. Also this is really concerning that you dont see that aspect. Zero percent chance theyd do any of this to someone who could actually take them. Uninviting them to the wedding is the least thing, they're just going to retaliate for their whole lives. Nta. AHs are still AHs. Either dump the family, or dump the fianc so that he can find someone better. NTA OP. Wow, what the fuck?? You're not exaggerating. Mean ESH 's been through enough hazing and taken it in the long RUN this for so.... 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